The Sparkle of Love
by Stephen Skie, Romancing the Mind columnist
Do you remember the bliss of your first crush or the first time you fell in love? For some, the romance continues. While others, such a moment is nothing more than a fond memory. No matter what your present situation may be, there is often something special about the first time of being in love.
Perhaps all the associated joy is based upon the lack of experience. How else would anyone come up with the cliché, “love is blind”, or “naivety is bliss.” It seems that the key to really enjoying a loving relationship is not to have had a prior one. A perspective that is completely opposite from the normal routine of everything else.
Having prior experience is an asset with any job offer. Even when the position states that no experience is necessary, no one would disagree that having some will be beneficial. In fact, years of related knowledge and experience on any topic is often referred to as being a pro in the field, or someone who is wise. No matter how you look at, experience, whether via life itself or by some means of formal education, is a plus. Something that holds true for everything, except being in love.
The state of being in love disregards most forms of logic, including any aspects of compatibility. Yet, we all seem to associate the two within any lasting romantic relationship. If you don’t believe me, just do a little web surfing. There are numerous sites catering to the task of finding that special someone. Some of them even specialize in short term relations for those in need of something different. In spite of these differences, the majority of match making sites encompass some means of measuring compatibility. Getting along or having enough in common seems to be the bases of any successful relationship. Ironically, the ability to know oneself is based upon having life experience. If this is so, then, how could anyone truthfully gain such experience through relationships and not fall in love. After all, it is what brings most couples together.
Then again, being in love and having a successful relationship may be years apart, literally speaking. If being in love is really only for the young hearted, or blind, as the cliché goes, then, a successful relationship is only for the wise. A logical assumption. Except for one thing. There are many happy successful relationships that are truly loving. A contradiction to the logical if there ever was one.
Rational thinking may be the way to resolve many of our day-to-day challenges. Some will even use it to evaluate a personal relationship; yet, this type of thinking has little merit on love itself. It is something that just seems to happen. Just like slipping on ice, stubbing a toe, or spilling a drink. No one ever really plans to do such things, unless, it is a desperate way of meeting someone, and if so, such actions do seem to support the illogical thinking one has while under such an influence. There is little logic associated with falling in love - that is why it’s falling, and not deciding.
The term, falling, is the magical key to experiencing the bliss of love. Similar to the aforementioned hazards of sipping on ice and so forth, which is really something that only happens when we are unprepared. Falling in love is similar in many ways. And being unprepared can often be associated with a lack of experience. Which is really another way of, ‘not sweating the details,’ and accepting things for what they are.
Although experience may define the details with finding the most suitable candidate to enter a relationship with, love is often related to various character attributes, or if you wish, the magical affects of cupid’s arrow. It is often the little things that create the spark that ignites the amorous fire. It is also the association of these little things that make one’s first love a lasting impression. Immersing oneself within them is the way easiest way of keeping the fire alive. So… go ahead and relish in the sparkle of the moment. Let your imagination lead your heart off into la-la-land. This way, everything that sparkles, can be gold.
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The Canadian is a non-for-profit National Newspaper with an international readership.